Genie is hard of hearing
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks “If I show you something crazy, would you let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?”
The bartender thinks for a minute and then says
“It would have to be something spectacular to take that offer.”
The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar.
He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, who is only 1 foot tall, and a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin.
Once he finishes, the bartender is in utter disbelief. He tells the man “You can have free drinks for the rest of the night, but only if you tell where you got this.”
The man says “In the alleyway behind your bar, there is a Genie who is granting free wishes to everyone who wants them.” Elated, the bartender heads behind his bar to see if it was true.
A few minutes pass and out of the alleyway erupts a cacophony of quacking.
The bartender rushes back into the bar and shuts his door against a wave of thousands of ducks.
He manages to secure the door and says to the man “I think that the Genie is hard of hearing because after I asked for a million bucks, these ducks appeared by the thousands.”
The man chuckles and says “Did you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”
Old farmer decided to go to the pond
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:’ Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator!’
